Woman absent is woman dead.
Bigot, one who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain.
Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
Edible. Good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
Laughter -- An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
An optimist is a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
The are and practice of selling one's credibility for future delivery.
Bride. A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Abstainer. A weak man who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.
Bore -- a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Deliberation. The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is buttered on.
To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.