It is nobler to be good, and it is nobler to teach others to be good — and less trouble!
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- Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
- I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can’t find anybody who can tell me what they want.
- The trouble with you Chicago people is that you think you are the best people down here, whereas you are merely the most numerous.
- A good memory and a tongue tied in the middle is a combination which gives immortality to conversation.
- There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
- Warm summer sun, shine kindly here. Warm southern wind, blow softly here. Green sod above, lie light, lie light. Good night, dear Heart, Good night, good night.