Love is a gross exaggeration of the difference between one person and everybody else.
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- A nap, my friend, is a brief period of sleep which overtakes superannuated persons when they endeavor to entertain unwelcome visitors or to listen to scientific lectures.
- Between persons of equal income there is no social distinction except the distinction of merit. Money is nothing: character, conduct, and capacity are everything. There would be great people and ordinary people and little people, but the great would always be those who had done great things, and never the idiots whose mothers had spoiled them and whose fathers had left them a hundred thousand a year; and the little would be persons of small minds and mean characters, and not poor persons who had never had a chance. That is why idiots are always in favor of inequality of income (their only chance of eminence), and the really great in favor of equality.
- It has taken me nearly twenty years of studied self-restraint, aided by the natural decay of my faculties, to make myself dull enough to be accepted as a serious person by the British public; and I am not sure that I am not still regarded as a suspicious character in some quarters.
- First love is only a little foolishness and a lot of curiosity: no really self-respecting woman would take advantage of it.
- Englishmen hate Liberty and Equality too much to understand them. But every Englishman loves a pedigree.
- Money is indeed the most important thing in the world; and all sound and successful personal and national morality should have this fact for its basis.