It is always well to accept your own shortcomings with candor but to regard those of your friends with polite incredulity.
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- The art of acceptance is the art of making someone who has just done you a small favor wish that he might have done you a greater one.
- The only gracious way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can’t ignore it, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh at it; if you can’t laugh at it, it’s probably deserved.
- A lady is nothing very specific. One man’s lady is another man’s woman; sometimes, one man’s lady is another man’s wife. Definitions overlap but they almost never coincide.
- The true snob never rests: there is always a higher goal to attain, and there are, by the same token, always more and more people to look down upon.
- If you can’t ignore an insult, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh it off; and if you can’t laugh it off, it’s probably deserved.
- Cynicism is the intellectual cripple’s substitute for intelligence.