The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven.
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- Humor must not professedly teach and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever.
- Monarchies, aristocracies, and religions are all based upon that large defect in your race — the individual’s distrust of his neighbor, and his desire, for safety’s or comfort’s sake, to stand well in his neighbor’s eye. These institutions will always remain, and always flourish, and always oppress you, affront you, and degrade you, because you will always be and remain slaves of minorities. There was never a country where the majority of the people were in their secret hearts loyal to any of these institutions.
- I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell — you see, I have friends in both places.
- Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
- There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought –a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!
- On with dance, let joy be unconfined, is my motto; whether there’s any dance to dance or any joy to unconfined.