There is only one thing for a man to do who is married to a woman who enjoys spending money, and that is enjoy earning it.
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- Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who cannot sleep with window shut, and a woman who cannot sleep with the window open.
- To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.
- I don’t mind their having a lot of money, and I don’t care how they employ it, but I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.
- If you don’t want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won’t have to work.
- Here is a pen and here is a pencil, here’s a typewriter, here’s a stencil, here’s a list of today’s appointments, and all the flies in all the ointments, the daily woes that a man endures — take them, George, they’re yours!
- Man is a victim of dope in the incurable form of hope.