The teller of a mirthful tale has latitude allowed him. We are content with less than absolute truth.
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- A poor relation is the most irrelevant thing in nature, a piece of impertinent correspondence, an odious approximation, a haunting conscience, a preposterous shadow, lengthening in the noon-tide of our prosperity. He is known by his knock.
- The greatest pleasure I know, is to do a good action by stealth, and to have it found out by accident.
- Cards are war, in disguise of a sport.
- In everything that relates to science, I am a whole Encyclopaedia behind the rest of the world.
- A pun is not bound by the laws which limit nicer wit. It is a pistol let off at the ear; not a feather to tickle the intellect.
- Were I Diogenes, I would not move out of a kilderkin into a hogshead, though the first had had nothing but small beer in it, and the second reeked claret.