Until Ace Ventura, no actor had considered talking through his ass.
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- If I’m not back in five minutes… just wait longer!
- The mug is a tool. My ace in the hole. To have looks is the bonus on top of what motivates me to be an actor. Not to realize they’re an asset would be counterproductive to the cause; they serve the common good.
- Talk to them about things they don’t know. Try to give them an inferiority complex. If the actress is beautiful, screw her. If she isn’t, present her with a valuable painting she will not understand. If they insist on being boring, kick their asses or twist their noses. And that’s about all there is to it.
- An actor is a guy who, if you ain’t talking about him, he ain’t listening.
- Mr. Clarke played the King all evening as though under constant fear that someone else was about to play the Ace.
- The great actors are the luminous ones. They are the great conductors of the stage.